Remember when you were in your mids and dating? When the world was your oyster and there were so many women and men to choose from?
Do you remember when you got married and thought it was going to last forever? Whether you're finding yourself in your 40s and divorced or widowed, the ideal of life you had when you were in your 20s is probably different from what Dating in your 40s imagined. And now you may find yourself asking, "What happened"?
How did I end up here? If you're re-entering the world of dating, like me, you've probably had what I call "dating re-entry culture shock. As a Dating in your 40s who's back on the dating scene in my 40s, I'd like to share some lessons I've learned to help you maneuver the unfamiliar and sometimes seemingly shark-infested waters of the dating world. Never fear, though — it's not as bad as it seems! By now, you along with any prospective date have been through some things in life.
Those life experiences have changed you, and they've helped mold and shape you into the person you are today.
The same is true for everyone out there in the something dating pool. Be aware of your deal breakers and red flags lying, manipulation, drug use, addictions, cheating, etc. That is, if you deem them worth your time.
You might just find that they're being cautious, careful and a little guarded because they, just like you, are HUMAN, have been hurt, and are looking to love and be loved. Maya Angelou said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Unlike the wide-eyed and malleable people you were dealing Dating in your 40s in the early years, this person has experienced life, formed their own opinions about the world, determined what they want, who they are, and how they want to live their lives.
The probability of your changing them is pretty low, even if they fall in love with you. It doesn't mean a person cannot or will not stretch, grow, and improve, but expecting that loving them will change the core of who they are is unrealistic AND unfair. Be realistic, but don't settle. Don't fall prey to the unrealistic and relationship-killing "perfect list," because that person doesn't exist.
Don't look for perfect.
Crazy chemistry is a wonderful thing, but not necessarily an indicator of a lasting love. Isn't that kind of what happened when we married Dating in your 40s our 20s? Just like the person you're seeking, you've gone through some struggles, grown, changed, and are different from the person you were 20 years ago. And, although you may feel like a teenager being back out on the dating scene, you're not.
Personally, I discovered things about myself in my 40s that are really important to me that weren't before.
Being healthy is an important part of my life now and I want a partner where that's important to them as well. Discover who you are NOW. Be in touch with yourself, what you want and what's really important Dating in your 40s you BEFORE you try to join Dating in your 40s life with someone else. It makes you a much more interesting prospect. There's nothing sexier than someone who knows who they are, is comfortable in their own skin, and has room in their life to share that with someone else.
Yes, it's different at But I would challenge you to look at it differently. You have the insight of plus years of getting to know yourself and the world you live in.
You have an opportunity to consciously choose the type of person you want to be with, and how you want to spend the second — and BEST — part of your life!
In order to be your best self in your relationships—whether it's with a friend, family member, or partner—you need to FEEL your best, inside and out. Ready to learn more about how to become your most vibrant self? Group 8 Created with Sketch. Group 7 Created with Sketch.
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Accept that there's going to be baggage. Know that baggage doesn't mean you're doomed, just different. Believe people, because they are who they are! Get rid of the "Perfect List. Learn to trust again.
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And most of all, enjoy the ride. Emma Loewe 19 hours ago. Wellness Trends wellness trends. Liz Moody 19 hours ago. Email Address Sign up Error message. You are now subscribed Be on the lookout for a welcome email in your inbox!
Popular experts Frank Lipman, M. Popular categories Health Food Beauty. Rachael Lloyd shares the six things you really should know about dating in your 40s before you take the plunge and get back out there.